Have you ever thought about journaling and writing down your thoughts, to relieve yourself of struggles, hurts, emotions, by putting in all on paper?
Emotions don't always make sense!
You can write down your thoughts and you never have to show anyone. In fact, it is best you don't. People don't always remember things they said to you, or you to them, how they may have reacted towards you. It may not even impact them the way it has impacted you.
But it can feel so large, be such a shock to you. To put that on paper, to look at it again helps to see what the feelings are in a particular incident, how it is managed and coped with, or not. Either way, it is tangible and is suprising when you go back months or even years later.
Years ago, when my mom was deep in the throes of her alcoholism, and something had her incredibly depressed. She stayed in bed for days, with beer by her side. I was so angry with her, all over again, and never able to tell her about it.
Hiding our emotions keeps them bottled up!
I was in need of some help. I was 40 now, not the 19 year old who had left home to get away from it. I went to AADAC, the Alberta Alcohol and Drug Abuse Commission. They were there to council and help those with addictions. They also helped the families of the addicted.
I ended up in a group session, with several others, all of whom were just as angry and upset as I was. Though each of our circumstances were different we each had someone that we were angry with, frustrated by, hurt by, lied to, and loved.
It was a group that learned to deal with our feelings and our expression of it. (Just a side bar here - to be a child of an alcoholic, or to find you are married to one, or to learn your twin boys are heroin addicts, and sadly, that none of us could help any of them and had to watch them all in moments of self-destruction and despair, left us all desperate, alone and wondering why we couldn't help our addicts. We felt like failures, and in turn became angry and upset with ourselves.)
Keeping emotions buried can lead to problems later on!
One of the things they had us do was to write a letter to our addict that included writing down our feelings, moments when we were hurt by things they said or did, behaviours we didn't like, things that upset us. The letter was never meant to be sent but used as an emptying of ourselves, our anger, our hurts, fears, thoughts. It was a purge, a release, a way to let go. It was a way to tell the wounded individual our thoughts without hurting them.
There was no holding back. All emotions could be released, all hurts acknowledged, all things that could be said were said within the confines of that paper.
Like a breath of fresh air, you can release!
I still have that 4 page letter, where at the end of it, I swore an oath to my mom, that I would live for both of us. The letter did allow me to release, to set free the emotions that were eating at me, allowing me to move past these experiences.
I use this technique still when I need to understand what is going on within a situation and myself.
The road to life can be easier with our emotional being looked after!
You too can release and set yourself free of things that have you feeling any number of emotions, when you have no control over the situation. Write it down, let it go and be at peace.