What I learned was that I have a lot to learn when it comes to forgiving, others, as well as my self.
The lovely, highly intuitive naturopath, Nardia and I were chatting, as we have been for about 6 years now. She helped me to get over my hot flushes and in the evolution of my life she also helped me rid myself of demons from childhood and beyond. I have progressed amazingly with her help to a place that feels like heaven to me.
Forgiveness is a process!
Previously, I held on tightly to my war wounds and kept them within me, because I was unable to voice the hurts that caused them at the time. So undealt with issues had, over the years, settled in to my body.
Over the last couple of years I had been dealing with these. Meditating on them I was able to unravel and let go. So my neck, arm, hip, shoulder, and knee, have released the aches, a lot of them gone now, though some not completely.
Unravel what has happened!
But there was still something missing, that I could not put my finger on. Little pains came from different places, all on my right side. This was significant. Why? Because I had this basic need to be right (and didn't know how to deal, sometimes which really made me stubborn or irritable). So all these little pains had anger and unforgiveness attached to them.
Apparently ego will do this for you. I still have moments when I turn into a stubborn teenager all over again. Only now I can laugh about it, because I am a long way from my teen days but now recognize the process.
Nardia (whom I have already stated is highly intuitive) tells me my left side is golden light while my right side has spots that she can see that signify the last 5% of my emotional and physical healing, which will come in the way of me forgiving, both others and myself.
When we realize that we can become our own healing forces, it is so inspiring to carry on. Now I can look at some of these hurts, for what they are, issues, that at the time, had everyone involved sitting in ego, where we all thought we were doing the right thing (there it is again).
You have the key to your healing!
If we can look at a situation, with eyes wide open, coming from our hearts, not our ego, we can realize that we are all doing the best we can, with what we are and the tools we carry. We can then forgive ourselves and others for being human. There won't be any pain to hang on to. If you are carrying pain around you will be able to release it and let it go.
Forgiving people of misdeeds does not have to mean that what they did was ok. But if you can look past the deed to where it may have stemmed from then you too may be able to forgive them.
It has been an amazing process for me and I look forward to letting go of the rest.
Meditate on your healing!
This is not an easy thing, Sometimes it takes someone else to pinpoint for us where we need to carry on from. So now, I am healing, little bits at a time, forgiving myself and others. You can too!