6 Reasons why people hate social media decoded

by Roy Chambers (follow)

understanding (16)      society (11)     

Social media isn't just a new trend, it is here to stay, like telephone calls, email and writing. Yet there are people who hate social media with an absolute passion. Here are some of the reasons why.



It is terrible

One of the main reasons to hate social media is simply that it is terrible. Facebook is a perfect example. Most people live in their news feed, unfortunately you have no control over it. You can even know for sure if something has already been read or not, and then the order will shuffle based on activity on a particular item.



Twitter was always a free for all and a special place for the select few, but that is not enough to earn the billions so now of course they are feeding you news stories that you don't care about, mostly from big organisations that could simply be paying for advertising or making the real news anyway.

Not only that it is often hard to control our own content as others can simply be tagging us in their own feeds. Basically you have to be all in or stay completely out of social media.

Even the most ardent users of social media usually is dismayed by the way social media works. Yet we continue to use it.

Jealousy

One of the key develops in human evolution is jealousy. Well to be more precise, it was the sense of fairness. This requires that we feel we need to share things fairly, but also feel upset when we perceive things as unfair.



Despite the fact that parents today actually spend more time interacting meaningfully and playing with their kids than parents in the 1970s there is this perception that it is the opposite.

This is where jealousy comes in. In the 1970s parents would sit down at the table to eat dinner with their kids. They might not talk much, but everyone was there eating. Then they would sit in the living room and watch TV together. Usually without any conversation, but there was a sense everyone was together and everyone was not interacting equally.

Now along comes laptops, phones, tablets, messaging, Facebook, YouTube and other distractions. Suddenly instead of everyone ignoring each other equally the kids are ignoring their parents while interacting with other people.

It is jealousy, pure and simple. If their kids just sat like zombies watching TV like their parents, there wouldn't be any problem, but now they have the audacity to interact with other people instead of interacting with no one.

Low EQ

EQ or emotional quotient is the ability to judge other people's and your own emotions and respond appropriately. The argument often is that Social Media is not real human interaction and is essentially a low EQ way to interact with others, however when you understand the difference between low and high EQ people you will understand why social media actually requires high EQ.



One of the simplest clues is what high EQ people keep in their home. They will often have mementos of various social interactions. They will have a box where they keep all the letters and cards sent by family and friends, have lots of photos of people they know personally around the house, and other physical reminders of people they care about. Low EQ people don't do this.

Social media is simply an electronic way to keep track of all these social interactions. Reminders of friends is just a few clicks away. High EQ people value this aspect of social media highly, while low EQ people just wonder what the point is.

Another clue to understanding why low EQ people can't handle social media, is that they have trouble responding to subtle social cues. Yes, online interaction is not as rich and as deep as real world interaction. However a high EQ person is still able to meaningfully pick up on all the social cues using social media. A skill a low EQ person just doesn't possess.

Its new

The idea of hating anything new is definitely not new. The first cave man who painted his days activities probably generated a popular following and other cave people from other tribes probably came around to check out this new way of communicating.



Meanwhile there would have been others rejecting the idea for not being traditional or just out of sheer inertia. You can imagine the cave man equivalent of a hipster (what would a cave man hipster be like, tight leopard skin and ironically shaved face maybe) telling everyone he was into dabbing ochre onto walls long before it was mainstream.

Every new technology has its detractors and resistors or revel in their resistance. If you don't want to use social media to share your favourite cat videos, that is fine by me, we can meet for a cup of coffee and you can tell me funny stories about your pets instead. That is not a reason to hate social media.

They have nothing to say and nobody to say it to

I know quite a few lurkers on social media. Some weeks I feel a bit like a lurker myself. This usually occurs when I have nothing worth while to post, but it also requires that no one else posts anything I can comment on.



There is this idea from social media detractors that it is just people pretending to have fun. I think this makes no sense. Very few people post fake photos of themselves having fun. Instead they usually actually go out and have fun and then post photos of the event.

The only reason to dislike people doing this is because they didn't invite you. Facebook is fun if you have lots of interesting friends who, like yourself, are out doing interesting things.

They don't understand the 80/20 rule

The 80/20 rule, which some more cynical people call the 90/10 rule, says simply that 80% of everything is rubbish. 80% of jazz music, TV shows and art is rubbish. Suppose you are talking about Hollywood movies. 80% of them are rubbish. In fact 80% of Hollywood movies have always been rubbish and in the future it will be the same. Instead of telling me about the movies you hate, it is more interesting to hear about the movies that you love and I should see.



It is the same with everything. Think books like Twilight are rubbish, that is fine, doesn't mean you are never going to read a book again. Hate Michael Bay films, that is okay, don't go to see anything made by Michael Bay, but doesn't mean you can't find something worth watching.

Social media is the same. My social media feed includes the following items, a prank video about a headless driver, news about the next lunar eclipse, an advert for Luminosity brain development software (shown to be uselss), a friend's travel photos from France, a funny cartoon in Thai (I don't read Thai), a new selfie from a friend who only uploads new pictures of herself and a friend who is still determined to overthrow a corrupt military government in his country.

How much of that is rubbish and how much valuable. It is up to you to be the judge. Some days there is nothing worthwhile on social media and other days it is just amazing. Let's not worry about the 80% that is simply rubbish and focus on the 20% that matter.

Is there any real reason to hate social media?

There is really no reason to hate social media. Lots of people hate Facebook, which is why young people are now using SnapChat, and Facebook only achieved dominance because young people hated MySpace. If you don't like Facebook then find something else to use.



If you are jealous about people using social media when they could be talking to you, then you should try and be interesting to talk to. Many parents who ban social media and phones in the living room and at the dining table are incredibly boring with nothing to say. Stop complaining and try to be interesting and try listening to your kids, then they might actually want to talk to you.

Yes, real face-to-face interaction is better than online interaction. But if you can't find the value in sharing personal information you probably have trouble interacting in a face-to-face setting. Build up your EQ both online and in the real world.

Okay, so social media is new. So what. It is nice to try everything new. I liken it to food from other countries. You should try it to see if you like it before saying it isn't any good. Your complaints don't hide the truth, that you don't understand it and are scared by the new technology.

Finally if you have nothing to say and no one to say it to, then it is time to change your life around. Simply by posting hiking photos I have managed to encouraged some of my online friends to join me for some real world hiking.

#understanding
#society

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